networking

Good intentions mean nothing without follow-through with new contacts

August 30th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: favor, follow-through, follow-up, gift, job, networking, ticket

What’s the point of networking if you’re not going to follow-up? I’m not talking about the 15 to 20-second introduction that ends with a business card exchange. Depending on the service offered on that card, there might not be a reason to pull it out again until you need it. But if you’re networking with certain people with the sole purpose of trying to build a relationship, don’t waste your time – or theirs – if they extend themselves offering help and you don’t follow through.
Generally, people like to help others, when they’re in a position to help. A quick phone call for some people, can transform you from a name on a resume at the bottom of a big stack, to someone getting immediate consideration. A coveted ticket to an event might be easily accessed with a phone call. But those types of calls generally put the caller in debt for a favor. Appreciation is a must – in the form of a quick e-mail or a call. Of course nothing stands out like a handwritten note.
Not following through on a favor is unacceptable. It’s no different than moving in front of another car, without taking a second to wave at the courteous driver who allowed you to pass. Every driver can relate to the swift mood change that follows when you don’t see a wave. People like to do favors, especially when it’s easy for them. But they also want some sort of acknowledgement.
Just because tickets are free to you doesn’t mean that someone else didn’t pay for them out of pocket or with their time and effort. Relationships can quickly sour when it comes to empty seats – seats that someone else would have appreciated.
But that’s only part of the equation. Chasing down a gift recipient when tickets are not picked up as planned adds to the cost of time. It’s now a hassle. It’s the same scenario regarding a call about a job. The person who called in a favor suddenly looks bad when you don’t follow through.
Be sure to thank the gift-giver. The person who secured the seats or called about a job has to do the same.

Networking issues? Take a lesson from cruise ship passengers.

April 30th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders, uncategorized | No Comments
Tags: conventions, cruise ship, etiquette, networking, tradeshows

If you’ve ever been a cruise, you know that it’s like living in a big fantasy land vessel – at least for several days. Sunshine, tranquil views and crashing waves, make it easy for people to step out of their comfort zones and walk up to people to start conversations. Not only is it expected, it happens naturally. Suddenly everyday citizens could teach networking at it’s finest. They’ve got it down with smiles, good eye contact, firm (but not crushing) handshakes, short introductions and good listening skills.
If only it were this easy networking for business, especially at tradeshows and conventions. It really can be. Here’s the deal. No matter what field of business you’re in, the way you speak and communicate is fundamental to how you’re perceived. People who use incorrect grammar, or talk mostly about themselves are seen in less than positive light.
Being a good conversationalist though isn’t really about eloquence. It’s about adaquately hearing others and getting your message across. It sounds simple. But it’s vital to conducting business.
When you’re an indifferent listener, how can you possibly even remember someone’s name?
Think about it. People on cruise ships make an effort to remember names or at least identifying factors. It doesn’t matter if you say “Hey KC. Or, “How are you doing today New Zealand?,” people understand the impact of making connections. They get the importance of 15 second introductions. They are on vacation, so they embrace peace and don’t talk just to fill up dead air. But they seem to always have a few conversation topics, so they’re never caught short without something to talk about. And they know that the best way to reduce social anxiety is to focus on the other person.
It took a cruise vacation to remind me that when you encourage someone to talk – by listenng and asking thoughtful questions – you almost always find out things that you wouldn’t learn if you dominated a conversation. More importantly, you leave a much more favorable impression.

Networking after hours: To hug or not to hug?

January 21st, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquete, hugs, networking

Networking after hours is a great way to connect with people on a different level. Music is flowing and people are more relaxed. But if you’re networking at a business event, it pays to remember that perceptions linger long after food and alcohol disappear. In other words, handshakes and business cards are expected. And hugs…well that falls in a gray area.

You won’t hear me say the rule on hugs is simple: Don’t do it. I will say, refrain from stepping in to give a client, co-worker, or associate a hug if you think there’s even a remote chance of making them feel uncomfortable. Business etiquette is about being considerate of other people’s feelings and doing things that build relationships. I don’t believe it’s about hard rules. Some people just don’t like interferance with their personal space in any way — including hugs. But ask someone from the South their take on hugs and chances are you’ll find more pro-huggers.

Personally, I don’t mind a hug from someone I know well, but I don’t want to be hugged at a networking event by a business acquaintance. Just because you regularly conduct business with someone doesn’t mean you’re friends. It’s just business. Hugs can blur the lines. Not once have I felt bad after shaking someone’s hand. But I have felt awkward when a so-called business professional has hugged me. I wasn’t going to back away or block the move, making the hugger feel bad. But seeing that it bothered me later means it wasn’t right. Yes, business etiquette involves feelings.

The bottom line is there are circumstances where hugging is appropriate – primarily when you’ve built a relationship with someone and it just feels right. At the same networking event where I was made to feel uncomfortable by a hug, another gentleman greeted me with a peck on the cheek as I walked in the building. I was thrilled because our relationship spans a decade. The last time we saw each other we spent half a day together on a golf course. Every relationship is different. If a top official at a company thinks enough of you to give you a quick hug, I wouldn’t suggest you jerk away. When there’s a genuine and mutual respect for another person, it doesn’t feel like calculation on either part.

Even in the workplace, there are no hardfast rules. I’d like to say that I don’t believe social contact is ever appropriate at work, particularly because I’m not the hugging type. But even I have hugged a few co-workers on two occassions: upon hearing great news about a long-anticipated pregnancy and with a personal tragedy.

Hugging in networking situations can be tricky. It can change the dynamics of a relationship. Have you ever judged someone or thought they appeared weak because of a hug? What about cultural differences? Do you think gender is a factor? Is it OK when it’s the same gender?