August 11th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquette, image, likeability, new hire, passed over
Hurt. Anger. Astounded. Downright upset. When emotions turn negative following a failed bid for a bump up in status in the workplace, it’s easy to make the mistake of destroying your “team player” reputation.
But emotions are pointless and unproductive if you don’t know what led to your manager’s decision. There’s a chance that your actions had no impact on the decision and you just need to move on. However, there’s a greater chance that losing out on an opportunity means you might want to check your ways after scheduling discussions with leaders and managers to identify ways to improve. Productivity and solid skills are critical, but image and the ability to interact with colleagues play a huge role.
Body language, appearance, verbal delivery and likeability skills may need polish. Oftentimes getting passed over is the impetus for starting a company or changing careers. Unfortunately, for some people, it’s only the start of being an embittered lifer, making everyone in their path miserable. One of the worst things you can do is be unsupportive of the new hire.
Recently, a good friend started her dream job, only to deal with an unhappy employee who thought she was a shoe in for the job. Choosing actions like refusing to offer input in meetings and walking down the street to use her cell phone, spoke way louder than words of contempt. My friend expected a steep learning curve in a new industry, but never banked on the transition involving a resentful employee.
A few years ago, another friend accepted an in-house promotion, never considering that another secretary who thought she was in the running, would stop talking to her for two years. Unfortunately, while her colleague was skilled at her job, she was also a loud, unpolished, gossiper who was never seriously considered for the job opening after an interview.
There’s a time in any job where you’ve gone as far as you can go and need to make a move. But instead of telling a prospective employer that you sulked when you were wronged and decided it was time to bolt, wouldn’t it be better to say that you learned a lot from your company but it’s time for a change?
July 19th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquette, co-workers. boss, lebron james, mistakes, relationships
Who says courtesy doesn’t count? More than a week after Lebron James announced “The Decision” to leave Cleveland for Miami as a free agent on an hour-long special on ESPN, the world renowned basketball star is still being ridiculed. Similar to leaving a job, or a personal relationship, some rabid fans would have been upset no matter how he left. But I firmly believe some of the pain and bad feelings could have been avoided. If I’ve heard it once, I feel like I’ve heard it a thousand times, the man known simply as “Lebron” should have shown more class than to let the Cleveland owner, coach and fans hear about his defection on national TV.
After several years of asking small business owners how they fixed their biggest mistakes, then suddenly observing outrageous antics of everything from burning jerseys to dropping the price of a life-size James decal from $99.99 to $17.41- the year Benedict Arnold was born- I’d say there’s a lesson. When you resign from any job or business relationship, try your best not to leave on bad terms. Every situation is different – and self-preservation is important – but in most cases, courtesy, etiquette and professionalism go a long way. No one is immune from the game of life. You can be on top of the world one day, and vilified the next day.
Take Lebron. Instead of having his people tell Cav’s team owners minutes before revealing his decision on national television, he could have told them much earlier he was leaving, even without announcing where he was going. It would have given the Cav’s options to improve after he left, and spared the public from later hearing about how he failed to return e-mails or calls from the team. The mega-millionaire’s talents and amazing fan support might have led him to talking about himself in third person – “I’m taking my talents to Miami,”- but how do you forget that the game is still a business. Business arrangements have at least two sides and emotions are real.
The take-away: Everybody should pursue their goals and dreams, but remember, whether you’re trying to climb a mountain or sink a three-pointer, it starts with a step. Chances are you won’t make the journey alone. So as much as you’re tempted to tell off your boss or a co-worker, why burn bridges? Don’t brag to co-workers about your great new opportunity. Simply give your boss the courtesy of an advance notice about your departure plans. Then thank them again for their support. Similar to former fans, you never know when you’ll run into a former employer, supervisor or co-worker.
March 31st, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders, uncategorized | No Comments
Tags: audience, business etiquette, distractions, rude
Have you ever felt like everyone was staring at you in disgust, even though they weren’t? That’s how I felt last week when I forgot to put my cell phone on vibrate and it rang loudly in a small room at an event. Thankfully I moved so fast that it didn’t ring twice. But it was still embarrassing – especially since the incident is one my biggest pet peeves. Hard to believe that I’m the one who tends to miss calls because my phone generally stays on vibrate.
It was a good reminder that while nobody is perfect, there’s a big difference in making a mistake and just being plain inconsiderate at events. Texting, chewing food loudly and messing with body parts is rude while speakers are talking at events. Actions like talking and fumbling through purses is bothersome to audience members too.
I’ll never forget the guy who actually answered his phone during a funeral. Unfortunately he chose to have a short conversation instead of quickly turning off the device.
It doesn’t matter how much education or experience a person has, it’s hard to view them the same when they’re rude at a conference, program or event.
One of my colleagues sent me an e-mail from an out-of-state convention last week because she couldn’t concentrate on a speaker, thanks to a guy sitting in front of her who continually tried to pluck a hair out of his ear. “He wasn’t too discreet to those of us sitting behind him,” she said. It was so annoying that she got up and moved.
I can relate. A couple of days later, I tried to listen to a speaker at a big event involving state officials and business expansion opportunities. Unfortunately a guy on the second row kept eating chips so loudly that it was a challenge. A few glares didn’t seem to phase him.
Here’s a simple reminder and plea to all of the personal-device
junkies, eating and body part picker offenders: Be aware of your surroundings and treat people the way you want to be treated.
And to speakers who might have unintentional rude folks in the audience, consider prefacing your remarks by asking event attendees to abstain from using handheld devices or turn phones to vibrate.
March 19th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: author, business etiquette, Diane Helbig, e-mail marketing, permission
It’s great when a client seeks you out for your expertise, service or products, but everyone has to market – especially in this economy. Why shoot yourself in the foot with poorly thought out e-mail marketing sales pitches?
As a writer, I personally prefer an e-mailed story pitch, followed by a call. It’s an opportunity to get a better idea about what the person wants before we have a conversation. But pitching a story is so different from pitching a service or product that costs money.
People like to do business with people that they like and trust. A form pitch letter, sent by e-mail, hardly leaves a good impression. Sure it can be done. But trust me, it’s not easy getting over a bad first impression.
Business coach Diane Helbig calls sales pitches through this medium, “worse than a waste of time.” People do it for one reason: It’s easy.
“It sends a really bad impression that you don’t know what you’re doing or you’re blindly prospecting,” she said. “You’re hoping for anything from anybody and that’s not how people do business.”
“Sales is about permission. When people prospect by e-mail they haven’t gotten permission to reach out to you,” she said.
Clearly this is one of Helbig’s pet peeves. But something tells me she wouldn’t care about the medium nearly as much if the salesperson bothered to do some research before pushing the send button.
Just last week, a woman e-mailed her a sales pitch because she thought Helbig was still on the board of directors for a local chamber of commerce. One problem: She left the board four years ago.
Who wants to feel like a number on a sales prospect list. Business etiquette involves feelings. And people want to feel valued. They want to feel like someone really wants their business.
Lately, Helbig has been so frustrated by e-mailed sales pitches that she’s taken the liberty to respond with advice. The author of “Lemonade Stand Selling: Accelerate Your Small Business Growth,” let’s them know exactly how she feels.
“I tell them, that as a business coach and author of a sales book, I think e-mail prospecting is a really bad idea,” she said. “They didn’t ask for my opinion. But then again, I didn’t ask to be contacted.”
November 10th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquette, consequences, react, take a moment, think
Have you ever told off a friend in person, left an ugly voicemail or sent a flippant e-mail, only to regret it? Sure you might have had cause. Sure the other person may have started it. But somehow, after going with your gut reaction, you’re the one who is feeling bad. Who hasn’t? No one is exempt from a bad day or making mistakes.
There’s power in pausing before acting spontaneously. The same thing applies to business where consequences are more severe. Chances are you’ll get a second chance in making amends with a personal relationship before you will with an employee or customer.
It’s not easy taking the high road and definitely not as gratifying. But instead of reacting with your gut while a customer is screaming at you, try fantasizing about a big gust of wind suddenly blowing them away. Then move on to pondering and listening, while they’re running out of steam. Sometimes people just want to be heard. Tones change when you respond civily.
Whether they’re right or wrong, remember that an unhappy customer spreads the word much faster than a satisfied customer. With verbal confrontations, time is your best defense in constructing a more thoughtful rebuttal.
Have you ever enjoyed working with a client until they decided to stop paying you for your services in a timely fashion? Not only are you not in a position to bankroll someone else’s business, you take it personal because you genuinely liked the client. Take a moment and breath before you take action. Consider reaching out to someone in accounting before going to your contact at the top. At the very least, think about possible consequences before flying off the handle. You may want to work with them again. Sometimes people forget the importance of communicating – even if they’re sharing bad news – like the need for a late payment.
In today’s business culture where instantaneous e-mails, twittering and social media are the norm, it’s more important than ever to think about consequences. Remember, nothing is private once you put it in cyberspace. Why tell the world you’re headed to another “stupid” meeting. In this economy, a lot of people would be thrilled to take your place.
October 14th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquette, chris bryant, lunch, lunch meeting business etiquette chris bryant
A.Even if it’s not your preference, it’s difficult not to include someone at their request. If you were hoping to make a sale at a first meeting, I can see why you might want to meet alone. But a first meeting is generally just an introduction, allowing you to get to know each other a little better, so it shouldn’t matter. Why rock the boat before you can even get together?
Etiquette consultant Chris Bryant agrees – sort of. He believes the situation could be handled in two different ways, depending on the nature of the meeting.
“If the meeting purpose is of a personal or sensitive nature, it would be totally appropriate to express that although you look forward to meeting the other associate; if it’s all the same, you would prefer a more private meeting- at least initially? This would also be a good time to give further insight into what you would like to discuss and accomplish. That should definitely help your associate fully understand the basis for your request.”
After that, Chris said he would have made it clear, that after the initial meeting, he would look forward to meeting the other associate.
However, If it’s just an initial “getting to know you” type meeting, I would welcome the other associate to attend and just let it flow, said the founder of Rapport Strategies, in Beverly Hills, Ca. “You never know what value or perspective the other person would bring to the table and you can always follow-up with a more private meeting later,” he said.
Check out Chris at www.MrChrisBryant.com .
July 22nd, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business card, business etiquette
Absolutely not. It’s bad form. You can’t control anyone’s actions but your own. But you can set the tone. If it made you feel uncomfortable, you should have politely said something like, “Thank you, but one is sufficient.” First impressions are huge. Handing out multiple business cards to someone who didn’t ask for them, makes you look too hungry for business. An alternative, would be giving one business card and then following up with an e-mail or preferably a handwritten note to begin a relationship. Hopefully it will lead to future referrals. Earning a referral is a slow-build and there’s no getting around it.
There’s only a couple of reasons to exchange cards: When someone asks for one or when you provide someone with assistance with something and you want them to follow-up with you. If you haven’t developed a repoire of any kind, but would like someone to have your contact information, simply say, “May I give you my card?”
Phil Stella, president of Effective Training & Communication, Inc., said you only get one chance to make a good first impression on a stranger when you’re networking. In the same amount of time, what you do – or don’t do – with your business card can shape an opinion. He suggests practicing permission marketing; meaning wait for someone to ask for it or ask permission to give it to them. “Don’t just go up to people and pass out your cards or you can come off as pushy, rude and obnoxious,” he said. “That kind of amateurish networking practice really gets my Sicilian temper up. And I’m likely to ask why they’re doing that since I didn’t ask for their card in the first place.”
