Networking after hours: To hug or not to hug?

January 21st, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
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Networking after hours is a great way to connect with people on a different level. Music is flowing and people are more relaxed. But if you’re networking at a business event, it pays to remember that perceptions linger long after food and alcohol disappear. In other words, handshakes and business cards are expected. And hugs…well that falls in a gray area.

You won’t hear me say the rule on hugs is simple: Don’t do it. I will say, refrain from stepping in to give a client, co-worker, or associate a hug if you think there’s even a remote chance of making them feel uncomfortable. Business etiquette is about being considerate of other people’s feelings and doing things that build relationships. I don’t believe it’s about hard rules. Some people just don’t like interferance with their personal space in any way — including hugs. But ask someone from the South their take on hugs and chances are you’ll find more pro-huggers.

Personally, I don’t mind a hug from someone I know well, but I don’t want to be hugged at a networking event by a business acquaintance. Just because you regularly conduct business with someone doesn’t mean you’re friends. It’s just business. Hugs can blur the lines. Not once have I felt bad after shaking someone’s hand. But I have felt awkward when a so-called business professional has hugged me. I wasn’t going to back away or block the move, making the hugger feel bad. But seeing that it bothered me later means it wasn’t right. Yes, business etiquette involves feelings.

The bottom line is there are circumstances where hugging is appropriate – primarily when you’ve built a relationship with someone and it just feels right. At the same networking event where I was made to feel uncomfortable by a hug, another gentleman greeted me with a peck on the cheek as I walked in the building. I was thrilled because our relationship spans a decade. The last time we saw each other we spent half a day together on a golf course. Every relationship is different. If a top official at a company thinks enough of you to give you a quick hug, I wouldn’t suggest you jerk away. When there’s a genuine and mutual respect for another person, it doesn’t feel like calculation on either part.

Even in the workplace, there are no hardfast rules. I’d like to say that I don’t believe social contact is ever appropriate at work, particularly because I’m not the hugging type. But even I have hugged a few co-workers on two occassions: upon hearing great news about a long-anticipated pregnancy and with a personal tragedy.

Hugging in networking situations can be tricky. It can change the dynamics of a relationship. Have you ever judged someone or thought they appeared weak because of a hug? What about cultural differences? Do you think gender is a factor? Is it OK when it’s the same gender?

It’s a New Year: Did you acknowledge corporate holiday gifts?

January 5th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
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It’s that time of the year again. People are busy cleaning off desks and writing out goals and New year’s resolutions. But not so fast. Don’t forget about acknowledging corporate holiday gifts.

I’m not talking about small gifts that you gave to a host or hostess at a holiday party. In that case, your gift of chocolates, a holiday CD or even a personal note is an appropriate thank you for the invitation.

I’m referring to gifts from clients – like wine or gift baskets – sent as a token of appreciation for doing business with you. People are busy during the holidays and immediately afterwards. That said, it doesn’t matter if it’s two weeks later or more, find a way to mention that you received the gift. In this case, a quick e-mail works just as well as a casual mention the next time you have a face-to-face meeting with the client.

A friend recently told me that one client has never once acknowledged expensive bottles of wine she sends every year during the holiday. And I’ve never gotten over tales from a retail wine and gift basket business owner. At least once a week he gets a call from customers who wonder whether their gift was received. During the holidays, those calls increase to three to five times a week.

Unfortunately, in 20 years of business, there were only a couple of times when the gift was not delivered. That means the store owner has had to hear three words countless times:”Are you sure?” No one wants to believe that people can be so ungrateful.

Gift giving in work environments is already tricky. People often wonder if they should send gifts to bosses or colleagues. No one wants to appear like they’re brown-nosing – or worse – make the recipient uncomfortable. And of course it’s inappropriate to give a gift to a prospect. But when a gift is appropriate, whether it’s a holiday, your company’s anniversary, or the anniversary of when you started doing business with the client, is it really too much to ask to acknowledge you received it?