Spouses at company holiday functions: Is it really necessary?

November 30th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | 1 Comment
Tags: , ,

I went to a holiday business party this evening and sat with five people who didn’t have their significant other with them. It was a good time meeting people in different fields and sharing a few laughs. It also reminded me how people grapple with trying to get spouses to attend company parties.
Here’s my take: It’s good to encourage a spouse to attend a company holiday party – if and only if they bring a positive attitude with them. When you’re at a company function, your behavior matters.When you bring a spouse, so does theirs.
Attending company functions can strengthen relationships and conversations about the workplace. It’s an opportunity for spouses to put a face with names that you might mention, and it gives co-workers an opportunity to see another part of your life outside of the workplace.
At tonight’s function, most of the people at my table didn’t bring a significant other with them because it wasn’t convenient to meet them downtown on a Monday evening. Sometimes convenience isn’t the issue. It’s all about attitudes. If you’re battling with a spouse who really doesn’t want to attend a company holiday party, despite your urging, don’t push it. Remember, only you know your spouse.
Business etiquette expert Barbara Pachter once shared a story wiith me about how a compaany president used the company’s holiday party to thank employees for a great year. One spouse yelled out in a crowded room, “If everyone is so wonderful, why do yo pay them so little? Not good.
If a spouse begrudgingly accompanies you, or if you know there’s a chance an unfortunate incident could happen, why risk it?

Confrontation is inevitable in business – just like friendships. Take a moment to contemplate. Then respond.

November 10th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: , , , ,

Have you ever told off a friend in person, left an ugly voicemail or sent a flippant e-mail, only to regret it? Sure you might have had cause. Sure the other person may have started it. But somehow, after going with your gut reaction, you’re the one who is feeling bad. Who hasn’t? No one is exempt from a bad day or making mistakes.
There’s power in pausing before acting spontaneously. The same thing applies to business where consequences are more severe. Chances are you’ll get a second chance in making amends with a personal relationship before you will with an employee or customer.
It’s not easy taking the high road and definitely not as gratifying. But instead of reacting with your gut while a customer is screaming at you, try fantasizing about a big gust of wind suddenly blowing them away. Then move on to pondering and listening, while they’re running out of steam. Sometimes people just want to be heard. Tones change when you respond civily.
Whether they’re right or wrong, remember that an unhappy customer spreads the word much faster than a satisfied customer. With verbal confrontations, time is your best defense in constructing a more thoughtful rebuttal.
Have you ever enjoyed working with a client until they decided to stop paying you for your services in a timely fashion? Not only are you not in a position to bankroll someone else’s business, you take it personal because you genuinely liked the client. Take a moment and breath before you take action. Consider reaching out to someone in accounting before going to your contact at the top. At the very least, think about possible consequences before flying off the handle. You may want to work with them again. Sometimes people forget the importance of communicating – even if they’re sharing bad news – like the need for a late payment.
In today’s business culture where instantaneous e-mails, twittering and social media are the norm, it’s more important than ever to think about consequences. Remember, nothing is private once you put it in cyberspace. Why tell the world you’re headed to another “stupid” meeting. In this economy, a lot of people would be thrilled to take your place.