January 21st, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquete, hugs, networking
Networking after hours is a great way to connect with people on a different level. Music is flowing and people are more relaxed. But if you’re networking at a business event, it pays to remember that perceptions linger long after food and alcohol disappear. In other words, handshakes and business cards are expected. And hugs…well that falls in a gray area.
You won’t hear me say the rule on hugs is simple: Don’t do it. I will say, refrain from stepping in to give a client, co-worker, or associate a hug if you think there’s even a remote chance of making them feel uncomfortable. Business etiquette is about being considerate of other people’s feelings and doing things that build relationships. I don’t believe it’s about hard rules. Some people just don’t like interferance with their personal space in any way — including hugs. But ask someone from the South their take on hugs and chances are you’ll find more pro-huggers.
Personally, I don’t mind a hug from someone I know well, but I don’t want to be hugged at a networking event by a business acquaintance. Just because you regularly conduct business with someone doesn’t mean you’re friends. It’s just business. Hugs can blur the lines. Not once have I felt bad after shaking someone’s hand. But I have felt awkward when a so-called business professional has hugged me. I wasn’t going to back away or block the move, making the hugger feel bad. But seeing that it bothered me later means it wasn’t right. Yes, business etiquette involves feelings.
The bottom line is there are circumstances where hugging is appropriate – primarily when you’ve built a relationship with someone and it just feels right. At the same networking event where I was made to feel uncomfortable by a hug, another gentleman greeted me with a peck on the cheek as I walked in the building. I was thrilled because our relationship spans a decade. The last time we saw each other we spent half a day together on a golf course. Every relationship is different. If a top official at a company thinks enough of you to give you a quick hug, I wouldn’t suggest you jerk away. When there’s a genuine and mutual respect for another person, it doesn’t feel like calculation on either part.
Even in the workplace, there are no hardfast rules. I’d like to say that I don’t believe social contact is ever appropriate at work, particularly because I’m not the hugging type. But even I have hugged a few co-workers on two occassions: upon hearing great news about a long-anticipated pregnancy and with a personal tragedy.
Hugging in networking situations can be tricky. It can change the dynamics of a relationship. Have you ever judged someone or thought they appeared weak because of a hug? What about cultural differences? Do you think gender is a factor? Is it OK when it’s the same gender?
January 5th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: corporate, etiquette, gift, holiday, thank you
It’s that time of the year again. People are busy cleaning off desks and writing out goals and New year’s resolutions. But not so fast. Don’t forget about acknowledging corporate holiday gifts.
I’m not talking about small gifts that you gave to a host or hostess at a holiday party. In that case, your gift of chocolates, a holiday CD or even a personal note is an appropriate thank you for the invitation.
I’m referring to gifts from clients – like wine or gift baskets – sent as a token of appreciation for doing business with you. People are busy during the holidays and immediately afterwards. That said, it doesn’t matter if it’s two weeks later or more, find a way to mention that you received the gift. In this case, a quick e-mail works just as well as a casual mention the next time you have a face-to-face meeting with the client.
A friend recently told me that one client has never once acknowledged expensive bottles of wine she sends every year during the holiday. And I’ve never gotten over tales from a retail wine and gift basket business owner. At least once a week he gets a call from customers who wonder whether their gift was received. During the holidays, those calls increase to three to five times a week.
Unfortunately, in 20 years of business, there were only a couple of times when the gift was not delivered. That means the store owner has had to hear three words countless times:”Are you sure?” No one wants to believe that people can be so ungrateful.
Gift giving in work environments is already tricky. People often wonder if they should send gifts to bosses or colleagues. No one wants to appear like they’re brown-nosing – or worse – make the recipient uncomfortable. And of course it’s inappropriate to give a gift to a prospect. But when a gift is appropriate, whether it’s a holiday, your company’s anniversary, or the anniversary of when you started doing business with the client, is it really too much to ask to acknowledge you received it?
November 30th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | 1 Comment
Tags: attitudes, holiday parties, spouses
I went to a holiday business party this evening and sat with five people who didn’t have their significant other with them. It was a good time meeting people in different fields and sharing a few laughs. It also reminded me how people grapple with trying to get spouses to attend company parties.
Here’s my take: It’s good to encourage a spouse to attend a company holiday party – if and only if they bring a positive attitude with them. When you’re at a company function, your behavior matters.When you bring a spouse, so does theirs.
Attending company functions can strengthen relationships and conversations about the workplace. It’s an opportunity for spouses to put a face with names that you might mention, and it gives co-workers an opportunity to see another part of your life outside of the workplace.
At tonight’s function, most of the people at my table didn’t bring a significant other with them because it wasn’t convenient to meet them downtown on a Monday evening. Sometimes convenience isn’t the issue. It’s all about attitudes. If you’re battling with a spouse who really doesn’t want to attend a company holiday party, despite your urging, don’t push it. Remember, only you know your spouse.
Business etiquette expert Barbara Pachter once shared a story wiith me about how a compaany president used the company’s holiday party to thank employees for a great year. One spouse yelled out in a crowded room, “If everyone is so wonderful, why do yo pay them so little? Not good.
If a spouse begrudgingly accompanies you, or if you know there’s a chance an unfortunate incident could happen, why risk it?
November 10th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquette, consequences, react, take a moment, think
Have you ever told off a friend in person, left an ugly voicemail or sent a flippant e-mail, only to regret it? Sure you might have had cause. Sure the other person may have started it. But somehow, after going with your gut reaction, you’re the one who is feeling bad. Who hasn’t? No one is exempt from a bad day or making mistakes.
There’s power in pausing before acting spontaneously. The same thing applies to business where consequences are more severe. Chances are you’ll get a second chance in making amends with a personal relationship before you will with an employee or customer.
It’s not easy taking the high road and definitely not as gratifying. But instead of reacting with your gut while a customer is screaming at you, try fantasizing about a big gust of wind suddenly blowing them away. Then move on to pondering and listening, while they’re running out of steam. Sometimes people just want to be heard. Tones change when you respond civily.
Whether they’re right or wrong, remember that an unhappy customer spreads the word much faster than a satisfied customer. With verbal confrontations, time is your best defense in constructing a more thoughtful rebuttal.
Have you ever enjoyed working with a client until they decided to stop paying you for your services in a timely fashion? Not only are you not in a position to bankroll someone else’s business, you take it personal because you genuinely liked the client. Take a moment and breath before you take action. Consider reaching out to someone in accounting before going to your contact at the top. At the very least, think about possible consequences before flying off the handle. You may want to work with them again. Sometimes people forget the importance of communicating – even if they’re sharing bad news – like the need for a late payment.
In today’s business culture where instantaneous e-mails, twittering and social media are the norm, it’s more important than ever to think about consequences. Remember, nothing is private once you put it in cyberspace. Why tell the world you’re headed to another “stupid” meeting. In this economy, a lot of people would be thrilled to take your place.
October 31st, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: etiquette, halloween, thank you
Halloween is a time when witches, divas and superheros venture out for trick-or-treating. It’s also a time when you meet a lot of ungrateful munchkins. You know the ones. They come to your house in search of goodies, and before you know it, they’re off to the next house — without saying thank you.
It’s just wrong. But it especially stings when people go out of their way with elaborate halloween decorations. Those are the ones who give the best candy. Instead of getting a quick “thank-you” they hear things like: “Trick-or-treat, smell my feet, what you got for me to eat?”
Is a simple, heartfelt, “thank-you” really too much to ask? The same goes for business.
Some people are so busy that they forget how much it means to show appreciation for kind deeds, whether it’s a secretary or a vendor who produced on your behalf. Personally, I’ll take a thank-you any way I can get it — e-mail or a phone call. But there’s nothing like a short handwritten note. Not only does it impress people – because most people won’t do it – it makes people want to do things for you in the future. It might just mean they’ll take your call the next time you reach out to them. Or it might mean they’ll go out of their way to help you in the future.
No matter how busy you are, take a moment and say thank-you. But if you really want to leave an impression, or possible get a future referal, send a thank you note. Keep a box of thank you cards and stamps in your desk drawer to make follow-up easy.
October 14th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: business etiquette, chris bryant, lunch, lunch meeting business etiquette chris bryant
A.Even if it’s not your preference, it’s difficult not to include someone at their request. If you were hoping to make a sale at a first meeting, I can see why you might want to meet alone. But a first meeting is generally just an introduction, allowing you to get to know each other a little better, so it shouldn’t matter. Why rock the boat before you can even get together?
Etiquette consultant Chris Bryant agrees – sort of. He believes the situation could be handled in two different ways, depending on the nature of the meeting.
“If the meeting purpose is of a personal or sensitive nature, it would be totally appropriate to express that although you look forward to meeting the other associate; if it’s all the same, you would prefer a more private meeting- at least initially? This would also be a good time to give further insight into what you would like to discuss and accomplish. That should definitely help your associate fully understand the basis for your request.”
After that, Chris said he would have made it clear, that after the initial meeting, he would look forward to meeting the other associate.
However, If it’s just an initial “getting to know you” type meeting, I would welcome the other associate to attend and just let it flow, said the founder of Rapport Strategies, in Beverly Hills, Ca. “You never know what value or perspective the other person would bring to the table and you can always follow-up with a more private meeting later,” he said.
Check out Chris at www.MrChrisBryant.com .
September 30th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | 1 Comment
A. Now that depends on how you show your personality. Are we talking nose rings and tongue jewelry or simple necklaces? There’s nothing wrong with wearing jewelry accessories, as long as you don’t go overboard to the point where people in a business environment focus more on your jewelry than your actions and capabilities.
Showing your personality with simple diamond studs will never be an issue. But wearing earring hoops the size of a bracelet can be a problem – unless you work for a costume jewelry business.
Would you trust a doctor wearing big bodacious jewelry? Or would you feel more assured if the only thing you noticed when he or she walked in the room was a white lab coat and a stethoscope? I could care less what they wear on their off-time. But personally, in that situation, the last thing I want to see is a lot of jewelry. You can only make a first impression once.
Dawn Waldrop, author of the book, “Best Impressions: How to gain Professionalism, Promotion and Profit,” agrees with me. That says a lot, considering this national speaker is a huge fan of tattoos. But that’s a topic for another day. Trust me she’s an image consultant who believes in limits.
When it comes to jewelry, Waldrop said most people fall into one of four personality categories: Natural, Classic, Romantic or Dramatic.
The Naturals usually wear little to no jewelry. The Classics choose simple pieces and are conservative in style and in the number of items they wear. However, the Romantics and Dramatics love jewelry. Romantics love to wear many intricate pieces and the Dramatics love bold large pieces of jewelry.
“If too many pieces are worn, jewelry can be a credibility robber. First: keep your jewelry that you wear to work separate from your weekend or evening jewelry,” she said. “Choose a nice watch you will only wear on the job. It will last you longer and always look professional. You want jewelry to complete your professional look not be the focal point”
No matter your personality, keep it simple. And less is better.
September 3rd, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: acronyms, e-mail, etiquette
No. That’s my immediate response, seeing that a colleague recently complained that she read several in an e-mail and didn’t know what most of them meant.
An e-mail is a business communication tool that should be treated with the same respect as any other business document you
write. It’s inconsiderate to run the risk of confusing and frustrating an e-mail recipient just to save a few keystrokes.
Subject lines are the only place you should put abbreviations, because it might help tell your story and entice people to read your e- mail among all the clutter. Even then make sure it’s something you know the reader will recognize, like “FYI.”
With that said, business etiquette is not about a set of iron-clad rules. It’s about being considerate. So if you know the recipient well, and you’re sure they know that “FWIW” means: For what it’’s worth; or “TTYL” means: Talk to you later – go for it.
Younger generations have grown up with instant messaging and texting on phones. It’s common in texting to use abbreviations like, “BRB” for “Be Right Back” or “ROTFL” for “Rolling on the Floor Laughing.” But business communication should be totally different.
In personal e-mails to friends, write how you want. But in business, I high recommend not using abbreviations.
FWIW – For what it’s worth -Why risk annoying the reader, by forcing them to take time to look up an abbreviation or ask someone. If you insist, make sure it’s common, like RE: short for “concerning.”
August 24th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
There’s no easy answer. I don’t believe there is such a thing as an appropriate response time for an e-mail, primarily because every business is different and so is each situation. If you run a business that gets about 40 e-mails a day, you may have the luxury to respond to each of them – if you‘re so inclined. But if you work in a department that gets 400 e-mails a day – or you get that many yourself periodically – it’s virtually impossible to respond to some people at all. Unless your company policy dictates that e-mails be checked and responded to on a regular basis, e-mail recipients aren’t under any obligation to respond. Your chances for an immediate reply improve considerably if the subject line is clear and there’s a call to action.
While e-mails might be a widely accepted “non-intrusive” form of communication, we sometimes forget it’s just one tool used in business. Besides people get overwhelmed with e-mails. Instead of getting an attitude, when you don’t get what you consider a timely response, I suggest trying another communication tool – like the phone.
Sharon Christal, a Las Vegas-based publicist, suggests staying focused on the intended goal of your e-mail. For instance, in her world, relationships with media are continuously important for various clients and events. It doesn’t make sense to get emotional about a response – or lack of response. It may jeopardize a relationship. Her advice: Take initiative to follow-up.
“When I’m communicating with someone by e-mail I keep in mind my audience and how quickly I need a response. I recognize the media receives countless e-mails all day long. So if I want to ensure that it’s received, I pick up the phone. If it’s someone that I don’t know well, it’s an absolute.”
At a time when we rely on e-mail more and more as a standard form of communication, it’s a reminder of how important it is to connect with people.“
August 15th, 2009 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No Comments
Tags: etiquette, events, invitations, social networking
Yes. Spamming people is a big no-no. There’s no shortage of ways to annoy so-called “friends” on Facebook. Some people tend to overshare, reporting every meal they’ve eaten or weather condition they’ve experienced. It’s easy for business owners to fall into the same category when they send out tons of notices about events or invitations related to their business.
Determining what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable is not always easy with social networking, primarily because the rules are still being written and people use the sites for different reasons. Lines blur. You should be passionate about your business and personal life. Offering a glimpse of what makes you you, can have business benefits – like strengthening relationships. People like to do business with people they like.
It’s cool to offer an interesting link from a trade publication that moved you. But even then, the key is sending it out only to people who would most likely care. It’s OK to send out a quick note or business related question to your entire network if it’s relevant to a lot of people – or at least won’t be considered a nuisance.
Facebook offers a feature that allows you to create a group for a business concern. But it defeats the purpose when you invite everyone in your network to join. They’re designed as a gathering place to discuss common interests. People can only take so much time from their day. So before you start typing away, ask yourself whether anyone is likely to care about your comment – especially if it involves religion or politics.
Cindy Earl, a business marketing and publicity expert, said what she considers spam -or a nuisance- is when small business owners create events like tele-seminars or workshops specifically to promote their business, and then proceed to invite every single one of their Facebook friends. “It’s a problem because it can be perceived as spam by some of your “friends’ who may have no interest in your topic or event. I see itevery day and it can get quite annoying if you get a lot of these invitations every day. In fact, you risk being “de-friended” and losing the relationships you’ve been trying so hard to build with people online,” she said.
The president of Corner Your Market Cleveland, is a firm believer in getting people’s permission before you market to them. She equates it to adding someone to your e-mail list without their permission. “It’s completely unacceptable… Hitting people over the head with your message is the old way of marketing,” she said.
