Who says courtesy doesn’t count? More than a week after Lebron James announced “The Decision” to leave Cleveland for Miami as a free agent on an hour-long special on ESPN, the world renowned basketball star is still being ridiculed. Similar to leaving a job, or a personal relationship, some rabid fans would have been upset no matter how he left. But I firmly believe some of the pain and bad feelings could have been avoided. If I’ve heard it once, I feel like I’ve heard it a thousand times, the man known simply as “Lebron” should have shown more class than to let the Cleveland owner, coach and fans hear about his defection on national TV.
After several years of asking small business owners how they fixed their biggest mistakes, then suddenly observing outrageous antics of everything from burning jerseys to dropping the price of a life-size James decal from $99.99 to $17.41- the year Benedict Arnold was born- I’d say there’s a lesson. When you resign from any job or business relationship, try your best not to leave on bad terms. Every situation is different – and self-preservation is important – but in most cases, courtesy, etiquette and professionalism go a long way. No one is immune from the game of life. You can be on top of the world one day, and vilified the next day.
Take Lebron. Instead of having his people tell Cav’s team owners minutes before revealing his decision on national television, he could have told them much earlier he was leaving, even without announcing where he was going. It would have given the Cav’s options to improve after he left, and spared the public from later hearing about how he failed to return e-mails or calls from the team. The mega-millionaire’s talents and amazing fan support might have led him to talking about himself in third person – “I’m taking my talents to Miami,”- but how do you forget that the game is still a business. Business arrangements have at least two sides and emotions are real.
The take-away: Everybody should pursue their goals and dreams, but remember, whether you’re trying to climb a mountain or sink a three-pointer, it starts with a step. Chances are you won’t make the journey alone. So as much as you’re tempted to tell off your boss or a co-worker, why burn bridges? Don’t brag to co-workers about your great new opportunity. Simply give your boss the courtesy of an advance notice about your departure plans. Then thank them again for their support. Similar to former fans, you never know when you’ll run into a former employer, supervisor or co-worker.
Kudos & Blunders
The way you leave a business relationship can cost as much as you gain: Ask Lebron James
July 19th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No CommentsTags: business etiquette, co-workers. boss, lebron james, mistakes, relationships
Ask permission first before posting photos of friends and colleagues online
June 29th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No CommentsTags: business, etiquette, facebook, photos
The subject line in your e-mail account says a friend commented on a
photo of you on Facebook. You click to open it and the message is brief:
“Wow. That’s all I can say.” You don’t remember taking a
“wow” photo. So before you bother to open the list of similar
e-mail subject lines of comments on a photo, you feel compelled to stop
what you’re doing to log in to Facebook.
I don’t know about you, but every time I get an e-mail notifying me that someone has viewed a photo
of me on Facebook, I get an unsettling feeling. It doesn’t subside,
until I log onto the site and view what is usually a group photo at an
event.
With more than 400 million users, Facebook is among the most
trafficked websites in the world. According to the site’s stats, the
average user has 130 friends and creates more than 70 pages of content
each month, including updating posts and adding photos. Social
networking continues to grow fast, but too often common courtesy isn’t
on the radar.
Whether you adopt a real-world friends and former acquaintances only
policy, or an everyone welcome social networking policy, remember
what’s available online stays available.
Consider these gentle reminders and tips:
First and foremost, remember that the Internet is public space. Adjust
privacy settings, so that tagged photos are available to that person
only and not all of their friends. Even then, remember that photos are
often passed around by others.
Don’t tag photos of your friends that could get them in trouble.
Think about threatening someone’s job before adding drunken party
photos.
Ask permission before posting photos of your friends. Just because your
friend saw you snapping pictures in the comfort of a home or social
gathering, doesn’t mean they know an inappropriate or unflattering
photo might be linked to their name online. It could be embarrassing,
both personally and professionally.
Remember, what you consider an innocent photo with good intentions, could be highly upsetting to another party. What if you posted a photo of a co-workers child during a “take your child to work” day. Without seeking permission, you’d have no way of knowing that your colleague fervently opposes having their child’s photo posted online.
Pictures can only be manually removed by the person who posted it. But
they can be available to employers and peers for quite some time. If you
have any doubts about posting a photo, there’s always a quick remedy.
Ask first, then abide by their wishes.
Are you results driven?: How many times has personalities prevented a deal from closing?
May 18th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No CommentsTags: business, close, deal, driven, emotions, results
Just about every deal has the possibility to close – but they don’t.
Being focused on results is critical. But you can’t ignore or underestimate the role that emotions play in business.
In theory, business is about providing a service and getting compensated. But is that all there is in getting a deal closed?
The biggest deal can close. But if there is tension and resentment, it can affect future deals, a company’s culture and workplace.
Consider this scenario: A company closes a major deal that generates national attention. The president of a company conducts every interview on behalf of the firm, never alluding to a team effort. Partners feel sytematically excluded. Celebrations follow with a half-hearted response from partners. One partner chooses not to come.
Putting aside the fact that circumstances change and power shifts, is this good business?
We can’t ignore the role of emotions in business.
Networking issues? Take a lesson from cruise ship passengers.
April 30th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders, uncategorized | No CommentsTags: conventions, cruise ship, etiquette, networking, tradeshows
If you’ve ever been a cruise, you know that it’s like living in a big fantasy land vessel – at least for several days. Sunshine, tranquil views and crashing waves, make it easy for people to step out of their comfort zones and walk up to people to start conversations. Not only is it expected, it happens naturally. Suddenly everyday citizens could teach networking at it’s finest. They’ve got it down with smiles, good eye contact, firm (but not crushing) handshakes, short introductions and good listening skills.
If only it were this easy networking for business, especially at tradeshows and conventions. It really can be. Here’s the deal. No matter what field of business you’re in, the way you speak and communicate is fundamental to how you’re perceived. People who use incorrect grammar, or talk mostly about themselves are seen in less than positive light.
Being a good conversationalist though isn’t really about eloquence. It’s about adaquately hearing others and getting your message across. It sounds simple. But it’s vital to conducting business.
When you’re an indifferent listener, how can you possibly even remember someone’s name?
Think about it. People on cruise ships make an effort to remember names or at least identifying factors. It doesn’t matter if you say “Hey KC. Or, “How are you doing today New Zealand?,” people understand the impact of making connections. They get the importance of 15 second introductions. They are on vacation, so they embrace peace and don’t talk just to fill up dead air. But they seem to always have a few conversation topics, so they’re never caught short without something to talk about. And they know that the best way to reduce social anxiety is to focus on the other person.
It took a cruise vacation to remind me that when you encourage someone to talk – by listenng and asking thoughtful questions – you almost always find out things that you wouldn’t learn if you dominated a conversation. More importantly, you leave a much more favorable impression.
Audience distractions are annoying to speakers and attendees
March 31st, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders, uncategorized | No CommentsTags: audience, business etiquette, distractions, rude
Have you ever felt like everyone was staring at you in disgust, even though they weren’t? That’s how I felt last week when I forgot to put my cell phone on vibrate and it rang loudly in a small room at an event. Thankfully I moved so fast that it didn’t ring twice. But it was still embarrassing – especially since the incident is one my biggest pet peeves. Hard to believe that I’m the one who tends to miss calls because my phone generally stays on vibrate.
It was a good reminder that while nobody is perfect, there’s a big difference in making a mistake and just being plain inconsiderate at events. Texting, chewing food loudly and messing with body parts is rude while speakers are talking at events. Actions like talking and fumbling through purses is bothersome to audience members too.
I’ll never forget the guy who actually answered his phone during a funeral. Unfortunately he chose to have a short conversation instead of quickly turning off the device.
It doesn’t matter how much education or experience a person has, it’s hard to view them the same when they’re rude at a conference, program or event.
One of my colleagues sent me an e-mail from an out-of-state convention last week because she couldn’t concentrate on a speaker, thanks to a guy sitting in front of her who continually tried to pluck a hair out of his ear. “He wasn’t too discreet to those of us sitting behind him,” she said. It was so annoying that she got up and moved.
I can relate. A couple of days later, I tried to listen to a speaker at a big event involving state officials and business expansion opportunities. Unfortunately a guy on the second row kept eating chips so loudly that it was a challenge. A few glares didn’t seem to phase him.
Here’s a simple reminder and plea to all of the personal-device
junkies, eating and body part picker offenders: Be aware of your surroundings and treat people the way you want to be treated.
And to speakers who might have unintentional rude folks in the audience, consider prefacing your remarks by asking event attendees to abstain from using handheld devices or turn phones to vibrate.
If you mean business – dress the part
February 28th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No CommentsTags: attire, business casual, respect
We’re constantly making impressions – good or bad, sometimes even before we open our mouths. You got it, one of the first things people notice is the way you dress.
I’m blown away at how casual people get with all sorts of versions of business casual. Business casual should not be misinterpreted as personal leisure clothing. It’s still supposed to be professional-looking attire.
Not much makes me happier than finding comfort and style. But even on those days when I’m pretty sure I’ll be in the office all day, there’s a nagging voice that reminds me to bring an extra blazer, sweater or heels, so I’ll be ready for whatever business opportunity comes my way.
I once interviewed a gentleman who told me his biggest mistake was not keeping a blazer and tie in his car. Not being prepared for an unexpected business opportunity cost him a big contract.
Whether you’re chilling at a business conference or just prefer to dress down at work, ask yourself one question: What message does your clothes send? Even when you dress down, when you’re cognizant of your choices, clothing can play a role in helping your command respect and authority.
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Courtesy goes a long way in keeping customers
February 14th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No CommentsTags: courtesy, customer, respect, sales
Nobody wants to feel taken for granted, especially when they’re spending money with your company. But how quickly some people forget that everybody has choices, and customer’s deserve respect.
Earlier this week, I watched a cashier stop ringing up a customer’s multiple items, in order to ring up her co-worker’s two items. The co-worker, who was on a 15-minute break, was in line behind the customer.
The customer was livid, and promptly told the young lady about her rude ways. Now everybody is tense. She went on to say that she wouldn’t have minded, if she had only asked.
Again and again, I’m reminded how much courtesy counts. Jut three words (Do you mind?) could have changed that entire tense situation.
A week ago, a friend of mine told me she switched insurance agents after 15 years, because she didn’t feel valued. That blew me away. She didn’t say she left because she found a better price. She wasn’t looking for a new company. She left because she received a form letter that made her feel like a number, instead of a 15-year valued customer. The letter basically told her that she was transferred to a new agent.
What a difference a paragraph would have made. Let’s just say her long-time agent was not able to send a (thank-you for the business, but I’m moving on) letter to clients. The new agent should have sent a short courteous note with two points: alerting clients of the change and inviting long-time clients to come in to review their coverage. Adding a small temporary discount would have been a nice incentive. But to assume that everyone would stay with the company is insane.
With all of the competition in a tight economy, it’s amazing how lax company representatives can be. How hard is it to remind employees to treat people the way they would want to be treated.
People don’t always spend money with companies that offer the lowest price. Some folks are thrilled to spend more to get quality products. But whether a customer shops for convenience, price, quality or need, they remember how they’re made to feel. When service is really good or really bad -you can count on customers spreading the word.
It’s funny though, one quick call, and my friend got a better insurance rate – all because of an annoying form letter.
Networking after hours: To hug or not to hug?
January 21st, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No CommentsTags: business etiquete, hugs, networking
Networking after hours is a great way to connect with people on a different level. Music is flowing and people are more relaxed. But if you’re networking at a business event, it pays to remember that perceptions linger long after food and alcohol disappear. In other words, handshakes and business cards are expected. And hugs…well that falls in a gray area.
You won’t hear me say the rule on hugs is simple: Don’t do it. I will say, refrain from stepping in to give a client, co-worker, or associate a hug if you think there’s even a remote chance of making them feel uncomfortable. Business etiquette is about being considerate of other people’s feelings and doing things that build relationships. I don’t believe it’s about hard rules. Some people just don’t like interferance with their personal space in any way — including hugs. But ask someone from the South their take on hugs and chances are you’ll find more pro-huggers.
Personally, I don’t mind a hug from someone I know well, but I don’t want to be hugged at a networking event by a business acquaintance. Just because you regularly conduct business with someone doesn’t mean you’re friends. It’s just business. Hugs can blur the lines. Not once have I felt bad after shaking someone’s hand. But I have felt awkward when a so-called business professional has hugged me. I wasn’t going to back away or block the move, making the hugger feel bad. But seeing that it bothered me later means it wasn’t right. Yes, business etiquette involves feelings.
The bottom line is there are circumstances where hugging is appropriate – primarily when you’ve built a relationship with someone and it just feels right. At the same networking event where I was made to feel uncomfortable by a hug, another gentleman greeted me with a peck on the cheek as I walked in the building. I was thrilled because our relationship spans a decade. The last time we saw each other we spent half a day together on a golf course. Every relationship is different. If a top official at a company thinks enough of you to give you a quick hug, I wouldn’t suggest you jerk away. When there’s a genuine and mutual respect for another person, it doesn’t feel like calculation on either part.
Even in the workplace, there are no hardfast rules. I’d like to say that I don’t believe social contact is ever appropriate at work, particularly because I’m not the hugging type. But even I have hugged a few co-workers on two occassions: upon hearing great news about a long-anticipated pregnancy and with a personal tragedy.
Hugging in networking situations can be tricky. It can change the dynamics of a relationship. Have you ever judged someone or thought they appeared weak because of a hug? What about cultural differences? Do you think gender is a factor? Is it OK when it’s the same gender?
It’s a New Year: Did you acknowledge corporate holiday gifts?
January 5th, 2010 | Posted in Kudos & Blunders | No CommentsTags: corporate, etiquette, gift, holiday, thank you
It’s that time of the year again. People are busy cleaning off desks and writing out goals and New year’s resolutions. But not so fast. Don’t forget about acknowledging corporate holiday gifts.
I’m not talking about small gifts that you gave to a host or hostess at a holiday party. In that case, your gift of chocolates, a holiday CD or even a personal note is an appropriate thank you for the invitation.
I’m referring to gifts from clients – like wine or gift baskets – sent as a token of appreciation for doing business with you. People are busy during the holidays and immediately afterwards. That said, it doesn’t matter if it’s two weeks later or more, find a way to mention that you received the gift. In this case, a quick e-mail works just as well as a casual mention the next time you have a face-to-face meeting with the client.
A friend recently told me that one client has never once acknowledged expensive bottles of wine she sends every year during the holiday. And I’ve never gotten over tales from a retail wine and gift basket business owner. At least once a week he gets a call from customers who wonder whether their gift was received. During the holidays, those calls increase to three to five times a week.
Unfortunately, in 20 years of business, there were only a couple of times when the gift was not delivered. That means the store owner has had to hear three words countless times:”Are you sure?” No one wants to believe that people can be so ungrateful.
Gift giving in work environments is already tricky. People often wonder if they should send gifts to bosses or colleagues. No one wants to appear like they’re brown-nosing – or worse – make the recipient uncomfortable. And of course it’s inappropriate to give a gift to a prospect. But when a gift is appropriate, whether it’s a holiday, your company’s anniversary, or the anniversary of when you started doing business with the client, is it really too much to ask to acknowledge you received it?
Latest Blog Posts
- The way you leave a business relationship can cost as much as you gain: Ask Lebron James
July 19, 2010 - Ask permission first before posting photos of friends and colleagues online
June 29, 2010
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